Monday 23.03.09
It's sad to see my other family (Serena and co) leaving again today after a weekend here with us for Kailee's birthday yesterday! It's always wonderful having them here and sad to see them go. Kailee loves playing with the kids and just adores Uncle Shane and Aunty Serena. She even wants to go live with them lol It's great watching her play with the other kids, she'll make a great big sister. Little does she know she already is - she has 2 brothers, aged 2yo and 1yo. Her bio father (aka Sperm Donor lol) has 3 children in all......... only the youngest he bothers to spend time with, since he married the mother of the youngest child. As for Kailee and the 2nd child, he wont even look at them in the street - the downside to living in the same town as him :( When she's older she'll learn of her other 2 brothers, little dones she know, she already has "playdates" with her 1st brother (the 2yo) lol The bonus of being friends with my ex's ex :P
I'm soooooo exhausted and feeling really seedy at the moment. Seems once i got to 8wks the morning sickness got worse! Someone said to me the other day "well its just nausea and not actually morning sickness" um hello - its the same when ur knocked up. Sometimes i think i'd feel a hell of alot better after throwing up than i do atm. For the first couple wks i knew i was pregnant, it was only from about 6am til lunchtime. Now its from the minute i wake up til i finally get to sleep at nite. Makes me wonder if i ever want to do this again - though i know once the morning sickness is gone, i'll prolly enjoy being pregnant more, or at least i hope so lol Makes me realise that my pregnancy with Kailee was alot easier. No stretching pains, cramping, morning sickness etc. No wonder i wanted more kids. I finally get my acupuncture this week, thank heavens! These niggling headaches are driving me mad!!
Anyhow, i best spend time with my friends before they leave me :( i'll post again later i hope xxx
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Blah day :(
Wednesday 11.03.09
I feel sick. Maybe its the fish burger i had for lunch, watching James try to eat a HUGE 1kg burger, or just plain old evil morning sickness. I'm not even sure sleep would make me feel any better. I'm exhausted and feel like being sick. The joys of being pregnant i guess. Today i'm 8wks and after looking online my little bean is the size of a raspberry. Starting to wiggle his/her little arms and legs and webbed hands and feet. I can't wait til my next ultrasound on Tuesday to see a little heartbeat nice and strong. I can't ever remember Kailee making me feel this exhausted, this soon. Then again maybe its cuz i'm running around after a 4yo all day.
I can't believe i'm 2/3 of the way through this first trimester, tho the time seems to be dragging. I wish it would go by faster, then again maybe i just need to learn to enjoy it more. I worry too much that something will go wrong, but as a mother i think thats normal. Once the u/s is done i'll be more at ease after seeing the heartbeat and will just sit back and enjoy everything. So not looking forward to having to buy everything from scratch again - all the little things like clothes, nappies, wipes, dummies, blankets etc. Babies need so much. I think i take my wonderful independant (nearly) 4yo for granted, its gonna be a HUGE adjustment when a newborn is in the house lol
Off for a lay down for now...
I feel sick. Maybe its the fish burger i had for lunch, watching James try to eat a HUGE 1kg burger, or just plain old evil morning sickness. I'm not even sure sleep would make me feel any better. I'm exhausted and feel like being sick. The joys of being pregnant i guess. Today i'm 8wks and after looking online my little bean is the size of a raspberry. Starting to wiggle his/her little arms and legs and webbed hands and feet. I can't wait til my next ultrasound on Tuesday to see a little heartbeat nice and strong. I can't ever remember Kailee making me feel this exhausted, this soon. Then again maybe its cuz i'm running around after a 4yo all day.
I can't believe i'm 2/3 of the way through this first trimester, tho the time seems to be dragging. I wish it would go by faster, then again maybe i just need to learn to enjoy it more. I worry too much that something will go wrong, but as a mother i think thats normal. Once the u/s is done i'll be more at ease after seeing the heartbeat and will just sit back and enjoy everything. So not looking forward to having to buy everything from scratch again - all the little things like clothes, nappies, wipes, dummies, blankets etc. Babies need so much. I think i take my wonderful independant (nearly) 4yo for granted, its gonna be a HUGE adjustment when a newborn is in the house lol
Off for a lay down for now...
Monday, March 9, 2009
My favourite blogs!
Monday 09.03.09
I thought i'd post something about the handful of blogs that i follow as much as i can.
So, here are my favourite blogs in no particular order...
1. Suddenly Single A blog started by a close friend of mine dealing with the new adventures of being a single mum to 2 gorgeous girls. I encourage everyone to check her blog out and subscribe to it - give her some lurve!!
2. Williams Family Blog Heartbreaking blog of a couple's son born with a rare skin condition, fighting for his life in hospital. Send them ur prayers!! (Alternatively, u can click the picture at the bottom of this post to check out this blog).
3. Family Journeys Amy's blog - i met her on SheKnows when TTC and she's over halfway through her pregnancy now.
4. Piehl, Party of 5 The blog of a friend i met online (also on SheKnows) when we were both 'Due in March 2005', shes just had her 3rd gorgeous child.
5. The Hodder's Blog Another friend made when "Due in March 2005" tho on an Australian message board. Her family's blog.
6. Memories on Maple Street An online friend's blog (another SheKnows mummy) dedicated to her family and her new little princess and medical concerns with her new baby girl.
7. Confessions of a Professional Couch Potato Blog written by yet another SheKnows mummy, currently baking her little man Emmett and in hospital on bedrest.
8. ~Waiting for Ada~ YET another SheKnows mummy's blog about her struggle to get pregnant and the countdown to her little girls upcoming birth.
9. Abu Dhabi-dooooo!!!! Blog dedicated to knitting, started by a lady i met online recently.
10. My One Cute Blog For all things blog related, blinkies, graphics, templates etc.
P.S. For those wishing to pray for baby Jonah or check out his parents' blog. Click the picture!
I thought i'd post something about the handful of blogs that i follow as much as i can.
1. Suddenly Single A blog started by a close friend of mine dealing with the new adventures of being a single mum to 2 gorgeous girls. I encourage everyone to check her blog out and subscribe to it - give her some lurve!!
2. Williams Family Blog Heartbreaking blog of a couple's son born with a rare skin condition, fighting for his life in hospital. Send them ur prayers!! (Alternatively, u can click the picture at the bottom of this post to check out this blog).
3. Family Journeys Amy's blog - i met her on SheKnows when TTC and she's over halfway through her pregnancy now.
4. Piehl, Party of 5 The blog of a friend i met online (also on SheKnows) when we were both 'Due in March 2005', shes just had her 3rd gorgeous child.
5. The Hodder's Blog Another friend made when "Due in March 2005" tho on an Australian message board. Her family's blog.
6. Memories on Maple Street An online friend's blog (another SheKnows mummy) dedicated to her family and her new little princess and medical concerns with her new baby girl.
7. Confessions of a Professional Couch Potato Blog written by yet another SheKnows mummy, currently baking her little man Emmett and in hospital on bedrest.
8. ~Waiting for Ada~ YET another SheKnows mummy's blog about her struggle to get pregnant and the countdown to her little girls upcoming birth.
9. Abu Dhabi-dooooo!!!! Blog dedicated to knitting, started by a lady i met online recently.
10. My One Cute Blog For all things blog related, blinkies, graphics, templates etc.
P.S. For those wishing to pray for baby Jonah or check out his parents' blog. Click the picture!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Needing a holiday from my holiday
Monday 09.03.09
Well i had an absolute blast spending time with my other family - the Evans' in Caboolture. It's always fun being there, watching the kids play, getting lots of cuddles, the constant picking on Shane (and him picking on me of course), the HUGE dinners that Serena goes 'all out' on and the constant trips shopping. Never before have i known someone that needs to go shopping so much - the woman needs to just move into the shopping center i think :P
It was sad to come home early, but with the impending Cyclone headed for our region, i figured it was best to come home and make sure everything is ok. So picked up the random things around the yard, roof has been taken off the kids cubby house - since it hadn't been screwed on - and the wet towels on the line will just have to stay there til i can rewash them to dry. I'm exhausted beyond belief but how boring is sleep lol
James took me to my dr appt today to book another scan next Tuesday at 10am - hopefully we can see our little bean and a nice strong heartbeat.... i keep dreading something might happen before then and i'll lose this baby :( I'm excited James is going to be there with Kailee n I tho, so thats definately a positive. Hopefully they dont poke n prod me so hard that i end up bruised again lol We then went shopping down the bay, had hotdogs for lunch n i bought a new handbag and purse and home now to rest.
It's funny how we go on holidays and the plan is to relax, and while thats pretty much all i did was relax - i'm exhausted and feel like i need a holiday from my holiday lol Kailee is spending time with my parents and driving down to Brisbane on Wednesday to pick up our old Japanese exchange student (from when i was pregnant with Kailee) from the airport for a visit for a week. So i have the house to myself and plenty of time to sleep - i should really take advantage of it, so until later....
Well i had an absolute blast spending time with my other family - the Evans' in Caboolture. It's always fun being there, watching the kids play, getting lots of cuddles, the constant picking on Shane (and him picking on me of course), the HUGE dinners that Serena goes 'all out' on and the constant trips shopping. Never before have i known someone that needs to go shopping so much - the woman needs to just move into the shopping center i think :P
It was sad to come home early, but with the impending Cyclone headed for our region, i figured it was best to come home and make sure everything is ok. So picked up the random things around the yard, roof has been taken off the kids cubby house - since it hadn't been screwed on - and the wet towels on the line will just have to stay there til i can rewash them to dry. I'm exhausted beyond belief but how boring is sleep lol
James took me to my dr appt today to book another scan next Tuesday at 10am - hopefully we can see our little bean and a nice strong heartbeat.... i keep dreading something might happen before then and i'll lose this baby :( I'm excited James is going to be there with Kailee n I tho, so thats definately a positive. Hopefully they dont poke n prod me so hard that i end up bruised again lol We then went shopping down the bay, had hotdogs for lunch n i bought a new handbag and purse and home now to rest.
It's funny how we go on holidays and the plan is to relax, and while thats pretty much all i did was relax - i'm exhausted and feel like i need a holiday from my holiday lol Kailee is spending time with my parents and driving down to Brisbane on Wednesday to pick up our old Japanese exchange student (from when i was pregnant with Kailee) from the airport for a visit for a week. So i have the house to myself and plenty of time to sleep - i should really take advantage of it, so until later....
Monday, March 2, 2009
He told her :s
Monday 02.03.09
So James told his mother i'm pregnant and she didnt explode and yell and scream as we both feared. She just said "oh well" as far as James told me. I dont know whether to be relieved or worried. Worried that she's quietly got something in her head, worried she'll make a public scene when she sees me next, worried she'll try and fight me for my child - i know she doesn't think highly of me, but if she tries she'll have one fight on her hands. I won't hand over any child of mine. Hopefully all this worrying is for nothing tho, and she's just going to accept it and move on. James is going to be supportive while i'm pregnant and this is going to be OUR baby. As for her seeing this child, there's gonna need to be some serious apologies given to me before that happens. I'll NEVER stop James being near his child, but i wont have her disrespect me and want to see her grandchild. I've seen the way she is in front of both James' and my kids.... i dont want that for this baby. It seriously scares me.
Now James on the other hand has been great the past few days. We've been talking, and getting along well. It's an improvement, and hopefully the trip away did him a world of good. He seems less stressed and less shocked about having another baby. So hopefully things are looking up for us - not getting back together, but thats ok. All that matters is we're doing things for this baby together. I couldn't ask for much more than that :D I can't wait til my next scan in a couple wks, when James can finally be there to see the baby. Finally we'll be able to see a bit more than a blob and even see more than just a flicker of a heartbeat lol The first trimester goes soooooooo slow, but i'm over 1/2 way already, it needs to just go faster lol
So James told his mother i'm pregnant and she didnt explode and yell and scream as we both feared. She just said "oh well" as far as James told me. I dont know whether to be relieved or worried. Worried that she's quietly got something in her head, worried she'll make a public scene when she sees me next, worried she'll try and fight me for my child - i know she doesn't think highly of me, but if she tries she'll have one fight on her hands. I won't hand over any child of mine. Hopefully all this worrying is for nothing tho, and she's just going to accept it and move on. James is going to be supportive while i'm pregnant and this is going to be OUR baby. As for her seeing this child, there's gonna need to be some serious apologies given to me before that happens. I'll NEVER stop James being near his child, but i wont have her disrespect me and want to see her grandchild. I've seen the way she is in front of both James' and my kids.... i dont want that for this baby. It seriously scares me.
Now James on the other hand has been great the past few days. We've been talking, and getting along well. It's an improvement, and hopefully the trip away did him a world of good. He seems less stressed and less shocked about having another baby. So hopefully things are looking up for us - not getting back together, but thats ok. All that matters is we're doing things for this baby together. I couldn't ask for much more than that :D I can't wait til my next scan in a couple wks, when James can finally be there to see the baby. Finally we'll be able to see a bit more than a blob and even see more than just a flicker of a heartbeat lol The first trimester goes soooooooo slow, but i'm over 1/2 way already, it needs to just go faster lol
Saturday, February 28, 2009
There's light behind the clouds
Sunday 01.03.09
After a rough week last week, things are gradually looking better. James and I aren't fighting anymore thank heavens. We're talking, being nice and honest with each other and understanding of one another. That's all i can really ask for. So many ppl think i'm stupid for wanting him there at appointments, ultrasounds, and the birth but at the end of the day it's what "I" want. We talked about having a baby together, we tried for a baby together (even if his heart wasn't in it in the end) and now we're having a baby. My feelings haven't changed. This is our baby together, and i want him to be there to share in it. I've been single and pregnant before - tho that time i didnt want Jake (Kailee's 'sperm donor') anywhere near me. He was never interested in anything to do with his unborn child - it was all about him. James on the other hand, he confuses me some days, stresses me others, but at the end of the day i know i can rely on him if he tells me he'll be there. Sure things aren't gonna be as easy, remembering that although we're doing this together, we're not together as such. I can't turn my feelings off, i can't stop loving him, but i'm grateful he wants to be involved with this baby. I don't want to do another pregnancy on my own - though if i have to i will. I'd just prefer not to.
Sometimes it's hard hearing other pregnant women talking about how involved and loving their husbands and partners are, i feel like i'm missing out. It's still early days tho, so plenty of time for James to be involved. I guess there's not much he can do atm its just all hormones hormones hormones these days..... with the odd craving for vegetables lol Maybe all this time with James being in NSW has given me time to think. Space we've both needed to clear our heads. I'm looking forward to him getting back and us talking and what not. He wants to be at my next u/s at about 8wks, so i'm happy bout that. It was great having Mum, my sister Sarah and Kailee at the last one (this past Friday, which was 6wks) but it wasn't the same just telling him about the ultrasound, or sending him pictures. I've never had a partner (or ex for that matter) to be excited with about having a baby, so i'm kinda looking forward to sharing this with James - tho we've split up. I really hope things dont change and we can continue to be happy and nice to one another - we're in this together, we've gotta be on the same side.
So the storm clouds are breaking and there's some light behind those clouds. Things aren't looking so depressing - or maybe today is just a good day :D
After a rough week last week, things are gradually looking better. James and I aren't fighting anymore thank heavens. We're talking, being nice and honest with each other and understanding of one another. That's all i can really ask for. So many ppl think i'm stupid for wanting him there at appointments, ultrasounds, and the birth but at the end of the day it's what "I" want. We talked about having a baby together, we tried for a baby together (even if his heart wasn't in it in the end) and now we're having a baby. My feelings haven't changed. This is our baby together, and i want him to be there to share in it. I've been single and pregnant before - tho that time i didnt want Jake (Kailee's 'sperm donor') anywhere near me. He was never interested in anything to do with his unborn child - it was all about him. James on the other hand, he confuses me some days, stresses me others, but at the end of the day i know i can rely on him if he tells me he'll be there. Sure things aren't gonna be as easy, remembering that although we're doing this together, we're not together as such. I can't turn my feelings off, i can't stop loving him, but i'm grateful he wants to be involved with this baby. I don't want to do another pregnancy on my own - though if i have to i will. I'd just prefer not to.
Sometimes it's hard hearing other pregnant women talking about how involved and loving their husbands and partners are, i feel like i'm missing out. It's still early days tho, so plenty of time for James to be involved. I guess there's not much he can do atm its just all hormones hormones hormones these days..... with the odd craving for vegetables lol Maybe all this time with James being in NSW has given me time to think. Space we've both needed to clear our heads. I'm looking forward to him getting back and us talking and what not. He wants to be at my next u/s at about 8wks, so i'm happy bout that. It was great having Mum, my sister Sarah and Kailee at the last one (this past Friday, which was 6wks) but it wasn't the same just telling him about the ultrasound, or sending him pictures. I've never had a partner (or ex for that matter) to be excited with about having a baby, so i'm kinda looking forward to sharing this with James - tho we've split up. I really hope things dont change and we can continue to be happy and nice to one another - we're in this together, we've gotta be on the same side.
So the storm clouds are breaking and there's some light behind those clouds. Things aren't looking so depressing - or maybe today is just a good day :D
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Exhausted
Thursday 26.02.09
These past few days have been exhausting, both physically AND emotionally. I wont go into details, but i'm bout at the point where i want to scream! Some people are still being "downers" and saying horrible things. What did i expect tho - not everyone is happy and i'm sure it's only going to get worse once James tells his family i'm pregnant. Not my biggest fans at all. It's crazy tho, i'm that exhausted i can't seem to drag myself out of bed in the mornings and within an hour of waking up i want to go straight back to sleep. Tho at nitetimes i can't seem to sleep. Somehow i need to get my body clock back into some kinda routine.
I'm off to visit the folks for a couple days tomorrow which will be nice. I need to pay for my train ticket to go to Brisbane next week and spend time with my other family - the Evans' family! Then i have Sarah's baby shower and home again. So much running around i have to do tomorrow tho, centrelink (and hand in a form they already have - stupid ppl), post a bday gift to the U.S. and hopefully sleep. I could do with a whole year of it lol
I have good and bad days - sometimes the stress of everything just seems to get to me and i want to scream. I had a meltdown the other nite cuz i couldn't take it anymore. I dont know what to do, or what the heck i'm fighting for anymore. I'm alone now and i dont see that changing anytime in the next 8mths, regardless of how many times i tell James i want him involved in this pregnancy and OUR baby. So i figure i can't make him, so i'm going to step back and when he's ready to be involved he'll take that step. If he doesn't, then i'm sure i can pull through.
Time to get this body clock back into shape...... it's midnite and i need to sleep!! Sooo excited, my first u/s (ultrasound) is tomorrow (Friday), not getting my hopes up too much as we might not see anything, but fingers crossed we might spot a heartbeat. I'm sure i'll update here as soon as i have time after the scan - thank heavens this past week just flew by and i didn't have to wait long :)
These past few days have been exhausting, both physically AND emotionally. I wont go into details, but i'm bout at the point where i want to scream! Some people are still being "downers" and saying horrible things. What did i expect tho - not everyone is happy and i'm sure it's only going to get worse once James tells his family i'm pregnant. Not my biggest fans at all. It's crazy tho, i'm that exhausted i can't seem to drag myself out of bed in the mornings and within an hour of waking up i want to go straight back to sleep. Tho at nitetimes i can't seem to sleep. Somehow i need to get my body clock back into some kinda routine.
I'm off to visit the folks for a couple days tomorrow which will be nice. I need to pay for my train ticket to go to Brisbane next week and spend time with my other family - the Evans' family! Then i have Sarah's baby shower and home again. So much running around i have to do tomorrow tho, centrelink (and hand in a form they already have - stupid ppl), post a bday gift to the U.S. and hopefully sleep. I could do with a whole year of it lol
I have good and bad days - sometimes the stress of everything just seems to get to me and i want to scream. I had a meltdown the other nite cuz i couldn't take it anymore. I dont know what to do, or what the heck i'm fighting for anymore. I'm alone now and i dont see that changing anytime in the next 8mths, regardless of how many times i tell James i want him involved in this pregnancy and OUR baby. So i figure i can't make him, so i'm going to step back and when he's ready to be involved he'll take that step. If he doesn't, then i'm sure i can pull through.
Time to get this body clock back into shape...... it's midnite and i need to sleep!! Sooo excited, my first u/s (ultrasound) is tomorrow (Friday), not getting my hopes up too much as we might not see anything, but fingers crossed we might spot a heartbeat. I'm sure i'll update here as soon as i have time after the scan - thank heavens this past week just flew by and i didn't have to wait long :)
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